I looked at the screen of my computer and I couldn't stop thinking that it was the most beautiful thing in the world. Here, I could be whenever I want, and can do whatever I want. No one here to blame, I could forget about reality.

Since I was a little child, I was playing video games. My mom offered me a game where the protagonist hunts vampire, ghouls and others creatures into a Gothic Castle. And right after launching the game, I was strike by its incredible beauty, which was characterized by the darkness surrounding the castle, its architecture and the fact even if it was dirtied by the blood of those creatures, it remained astonishing. So ever since the day, I've been looking for this same feeling in any game that I play. But for some reason, that I can't explain, something is always missing. I couldn't tell what, but every time I wandered in those castles, I killed those monsters, it didn't feel the same. I'm not a troubled person; I'm just yearning for beauty.

When I was outside, in the real world, everything seemed rotten. The people were tainted in black, water was strained by a black miasma and the atmosphere was almost toxic. I've never found in reality anything comparable to what I experienced in that game, that day, and I was on the verge of giving up. Maybe it would be better to be swallowed by reality, and forget about that stupid bliss once and for all. I will try one last time, and if the result is the same as the previous then it will be over.

I heard from a friend about a new game that was supposed to have the kind of setting I've been searching, and it was delivered with virtual reality equipment, so I thought it would be worth the try for a last round.

I went to several shops, but the game was already sold out. I tried any place that could sell it, but it was too late. I sat at the entrance of the last shop I visited, depressed and drawn out. Maybe it was a sign, it was destiny. Suddenly, I heard some footsteps next to me. I glanced at my right, and I saw a tall man wearing a long black raincoat and who was hiding his face behind a black scarf which was almost touching the ground. I tried to run away from him but he interrupted my escape with a loud:

-Hey you !

I froze instantly. He said loudly, with a voice coming out of the grave:

-I might have the thing you're looking for.

I turned to him and replied :

-How do you know I'm looking for something ?

I couldn't tell if he was smiling and grinning because of his scarf, but strangely, it was as if it wasn't his mouth when he's talking. He answered :

-Well you're sitting in front of a videogames store, and I saw going in many other shops like this one, and since I know that one game was just released a few hours ago … I suppose you're yearning for it.

He opened his bag and took out one copy of the game. It made me angry, he was surely teasing me, I grumbled :

-If you're doing this to mock me, you're the worst person on Earth.

-You're jumping to conclusions my dear. I'm giving it to you. I got one for free due to a mistake of a seller so … I don't need it.

He handed the game to me. At first, I was suspicious of that man who was covering his face, but rapidly, temptation overwhelmed me and I snatched it away from his hand. I examined the game from every angle, and I noticed that the virtual reality equipment was not the usual color, it was red. Sensing it was a fake, it tried to complain to the mysterious but I look up, he was gone. I glanced around the street, but he was nowhere to be found. I sighed and I went back home, with a persistent feeling of betrayal.

I entered my decayed house in a flash, quickly said hello to my mom and locked myself into my room. I threw the game on my bed and jumped on the chair in front of my desk. I switched on my laptop and searched on the internet about that mysterious version the strange guy gave me. But nothing about it, I was in front of a sea of mystery.

I turned my seat and watched motionless the game for a few minutes. I didn't know what to do. What if it was bugged? I could end up being hurt. But what if it was a safe version of the game, maybe it was only a color swap … I decided to put it under my bad, and I would make a decision tomorrow.

At dinner, I stayed silent while my family had been talking about stupid topics like what happened at their work or how my brother's grades were. They were so empty, I was about to puke. I left the dinning-room without saying a word, and once I was safe in my room, I laid in my bed. My family was composed of empty shells for me, they had no meaning. Once I will have the power to run away from this place, I will do it, to explore the world. Found what I've been looking for all this time. I couldn't to explore those old castles all around the world, where I could imagine myself as a king or a hunter fighting evil creatures trying to destroy humanity. Quite paradoxical from a human that hates humanity, but humans are all like that. With all these images in my mind, I gathered my courage and took the game under my bed, opened the package, uploaded the game on my computer and put on the virtual reality in my equipment.

I heard it was a new kind equipment that enabled the mind of the play to be in the game, as if he was feeling everything when he was touching things, breathing the air and interacting with people; It was labeled as the next step into a brighter future for games lovers.

Once I switched on the equipment, It advised me to lay in my bed. I did as it told me. Then it analyzed my brain, guessing what kind of avatar I wanted. After a few seconds, I saw the results of that search. It was a huge man who was wearing a black coat made of leather, he was wearing a big hat hiding the top of his face and finally, he was carrying a huge whip, my favorite weapon in games.

The game asked me if I was ready. I answered yes, I'd always been ready. I heard a noise and I felt something picking my forehead. Everything became dizzy, and without really realizing it, I passed out.

When I opened my eyes, I was standing in a giant hall. It was a castle's hall. It had a black throne standing firmly at the end of the room, and candelabras were lightening the room. I observed my surroundings, and I noticed many stained-glass windows that were sumptuous. They were showing scenes of demons fighting humans in a battlefield tainted by blood, devoured by fire and covered by ashes. It was pleasing my eyes. Suddenly, I saw ashes falling around me, I looked up and I remarked clouds, the ashes were falling from them. Quickly, the floor was covered by it, as if it was a grey snow. I walked towards the door, while my footprints were rapidly erased by the ashes. With all my strength, I opened the giant door that was separating me from this virtual outside world. As soon as I saw what was standing in front of me, I was overwhelmed by happiness, surprise and excitement. It was a permanent full moon, and the ground was dead, filled with corpses of previous players. I looked at the trees; they were all burned by the atmosphere, by the darkness that was mixing in the air. I explored the area. I watched players fighting giant werewolves or powerful vampires, I didn't want to play with them, I wanted to keep this moment of bliss for myself. As I slowly walked into a path surrounded by trees with black leaves, I noticed on my right, far away from me, a black shadow with white eyes. I thought it was glaring at me. At first, I tried to run toward it, but the distance between us didn't seem to reduce. In fact it was the total opposite; it was keeping away from me. After a few tries, I gave up and did as if it wasn't there.

After a while, I ended up in a strange place. I wasn't marked in the game's map. It was a giant plain full of red poppies and in its center there was a big tree with corpses hanging on its branches. I slowly marched to it, to get closer, because I wanted to admire. Once I was near, I touched the tree trunk. I was cold, so cold that I thought it would freeze my arm instantly. I backed off, and I heard behind me :

- Hey you !

I turned my back. There was a girl waving her arms get my attention. I didn't want to be disturbed. I was about to tell her to not disturb but it was interrupted by the sight of the black shadow behind her. It was creepily smiling at me. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't look away. I closed my eyes. And after that, I couldn't remember what happened. But when I came back to my sense, the girl's throat was in my hands. She was trying to scream but no sound could come out from her mouth. Her pale skin was reddening as I was keeping her from breathing. Black smoke was coming out from my mouth. I was observing myself killing that girl. And after playing with her for a while, I ended it. I broke her neck, and a huge "snap" echoed in the whole area. She was dead, it was sitting on her belly. I laughed, like I never did before, I was a real madman. And then I came back to me sense. I screamed, I screamed so loudly that I might have awoken the dead. But I realized it was just a game so it might be an even. I was just scared because it felt way too real. I wasn't used to it yet. I decided to log out.

I took the virtual reality equipment, I wiped off my sweat. I took a huge breath and then I tried to sleep, to forget about what just happened.

I woke up around lunch, because it was a day off from school. I went downstairs. I sat at the table; my family was quietly eating while watching the TV. I was unusual. I looked at the news too, and at the same time I put some strawberry jam on my toast. The anchorman was talking about a strange murder in the neighboring city. I was about to swallow my whole bread when I saw the face of the victim. By the shock, I dropped my toast, which obviously felt on the jam side. She had the face of the player I killed last night. My blood instantly boiled up and I felt a river of cold sweat in my back. My lips were trembling and no sound could escape from my mouth. Hopefully my family was too busy watching the tv to notice the crisis I was going through.

The police told the news that they didn't know about the cause of her death but their main priority is a malfunction of her virtual reality equipment. Yes, it's surely a malfunction. It's not possible I couldn't have killed her; it was just a game after all.

I stood up and left the table took my coat and went outside to lighten my mind from those thoughts.

I walked near the river that was cutting in two my city. It seemed black to me, as always. But the distasteful noises of the people surrounding me were louder than usual. They seemed to be spilling their nonsense at me, taking the form of black matter gradually covering my face. I sat on a bench, just in front of the river. On the opposite side, there was the shadow from the game. It was looking at me with the same creepy that I couldn't forget. Was he laughing at me ? I wonder. And from time to time, the girl's dying face was popping in my eyes, forcing me to bear her death for the end of time. I had to go back in the game, to see if it was really who did that.

I ran with all my might to my house, I rushed to my room, plunged in my bed, put on the equipment and started the game.

I started at the same place. At first, I felt anxiety, as if I didn't know what to do. I awkwardly looked around me, to see if the shadow was there. With no one around. I decided to explore the game a bit more, and to stay away from the place with the three, in order to prevent any further incident. I meandered in the various places that the game provided. In normal times, I would have been blown out by those castles, churches or graveyards. But I couldn't enjoy them. Worst, I couldn't lay my eye without thinking about the girl from last time. After a few hours in the game walking around, I saw a group of players facing a giant monster. It was a kind of dragon which had its body made of bones and flesh from killed players.

I sat on a rock and I watched them fighting that abomination, waiting from one side to win over the other. At one moment, one of the players stepped aside from the fight, took a flask and drink its whole content. After that, he checked around him and was startled when he saw that someone was sitting on a rock. With his big blue eyes, he approached me and asked :

- How long have you been here ?

- Around ten minutes. Why do you ask ?

- Because you didn't appeared in my in-game map … Are you wearing a cloak of invisibility ?

- Of course not, I just started the game.

- I see …. But you don't have a faction ?

- A … What ?

- You know, you've to pick when you start the game. The night runners or the moonlight eaters.

- … Never heard of that …

- Wel … But why …

He threw his questions at me like a spear that a warrior was throwing at his enemy. I wanted him to stop but he wasn't even listening to me. I told him, I told him so many times that my throat started to get dry. Black miasma was spilling from his mouth, and it was slowly covering and devouring my shoes. I wanted him to shut up. I wanted to shut him. I wanted to …

Everything turned to black once again. Like last time, When I opened my eyes, my body was moving on its own. The guy was in front of me, he was coughing blood. I looked down and I saw my arm which was piercing his torso, and I was holding the heart of his character in my hand. I wanted to kill him. He was screaming. Loud. Too loud. I heard something whispering in my ear. I couldn't hear what It was saying. The black shadow was here, smiling as always, but the distance seemed to have faded a bit. Unconsciously, I smiled too and I crushed his heart with my bare strength. When I regained the control of my body, I threw the corpse of the young warrior far away from me. His blue eyes were still looking at me, still begging for me to spare him. I looked at my hand, which was covered with blood. At that moment, I felt bliss. That was the thing that was lacking all this time. I had to take the life out of two persons to understand it. I wanted to have to power of life and death. I wanted to be the Grim reaper which delivers its judgment upon mortals. I tasted the blood of my victim; I spread it all over my face and I laughed, overcame by joy. Finally, I had achieved what I was looking for, by loosing at the same time my sanity. The shadow was still looking at me, but it seemed that its smile became wider for some reason.