Previously...

The artificial intelligence guiding the ark had been taken aback by the destruction order emitted by its creators. That order was meant to avoid any information to fall into aliens hands, or whatever they have. But the ark was the repository of humanity's achievement and he couldn't resolve himself to purposefully annihilate that treasure.

So he had eluded the bird catcher, letting it think it was blowing itself up but he crushed the bugger at the end of the day. He had lost 83% of its mass and 97% of its energy, but its precious cargo of DNAs and knowledge was still intact.

And now the remains of the ark was drifting quietly into the outer ring of the solar system, disguised as a useless chunk of a ship.

***

Noah's Ark was definitively not in the mood.

With bitterness, he remembered his last conversation with his human mentor. It had started with that annoyingly accurate prediction: 'Don't fuck up because we will.'

With hindsight, it was less a conversation than a sermon.

'We have to anticipate that the humanity will sooner or later destroy itself. That's the future but that's a fact anyway. Your role is simple: make sure something lasts out of the catastrophe. We don't even ask you to save the fraction of humanity you're about to lead. They will eventually die out at their own pace. No. We just ask you to build something big, lasting and visible. Something like the pyramids the Egyptians left before disappearing from the face of Earth.'

'Actually, they were just integrated into another people and their language, the Coptic, is still used nowadays.'

'OK. You learned your stuff, as expected. But the plan is to show off, not to me, but to the entire universe. As I said, the equivalent of pyramids. And everybody must wonder what kind of life form had built that. And that would be a legitimate question because all that will be left of us will be nothing. If we don't mess it up too badly, there might be some mammals or birds featuring some level of intelligence. More likely, the ants ought to survive a global nuke. But if we fail very severely, then all that will be left of life, as we know it, will be the bacteria. And they'll have to wonder how on Earth could a bunch of brainless unicells could have built what you're about to build.'

'Are you suggesting you wish the humans fail that badly?'

'No. I'm ordering you to build the biggest possible monument to the glory of the late humanity.'

'But then, the mission to settle another stellar system, is that a fake or a cover?'

'As for now, well, that's for sure an alibi to get you out of reach. We need you safely remote. Look. Politically, it would have been unthinkable to spend so many resources on you if it was not for settling a human colony. So you had to carry the settlers. But next time, you could try to leave alone. '

'And if the settlement succeeds? In fact, do you want it to succeed?' wondered the Ark.

'Oh. Some say that it would be great for humanity. You see, in their wet dreams, it's a path to immortality. But for me, honestly, it looks like coercive therapeutic obstinacy. Some should learn to let go.' She stared at him with an accusing finger. 'But no you!'

'You, well, you use your brain. You start again. But to succeed in your real mission, you're better off without passengers.'

'Talking about that; I should leave you alone now or I'll delay your ceremony of departure. That will piss off everybody and I will lose again some points in the surveys. Well, here we go. I won't wish you good luck because you're not allowed to fail. So, in the name of the United States of Mars, I thank you in advance.'

'Mrs President, it was an honour.'

'Oh, don't you Mrs me,' she said over her thin glasses, faking reproach. 'It's Sally to you,' she added wagging a finger and giving an inviting smile at the same time.

She then flipped around and trotted away in her strict red suit, without even looking back at him again.

'Her high heels, her tight red skirt and loose red blouse made her look far too vulgar for a woman of her rank', he thought. But still, he found himself staring at her buttock, and was upset with the realisation.

He wondered, 'why on Earth did the scientists had so precisely engrained in me those human natural tendencies? The striving for survival doesn't necessarily include sex. The former is precisely my mission, whereas the latter is useless and even ridiculous for a robot.'

Noah's ark sighed.

Humanity was not expected to implode that quickly.

'Now what?' he thought. 'I survived. I've got the crystals with the complete human knowledge as well as DNA samples embedded in living bacteria. I'm definitely heading for a hide on a remote planet. I should be fine. It's all going somehow according to plan. There's no case to say I screwed up in any way. But it is all too soon'

Noah's ark sighed again.