Today, I’ve lived exactly as many days as a trans woman
as I have left before I turn fifty

Fucking fifty

I’m a baby woman. And a hell of one
learning the world like it’s mine

Filthy—fucking—fifty is coming

I am: sassy, burning, charming, feminist
stylish, gloriously flawed, annoying as hell

—and pissed off, more often than not
So yeah, like any teenage girl

More like first puberty—
the last one, disassociation
a caustic man in a lanky kid's skin

My doctor never told me my libido would change—
into a wonderful, sacred mess

My psy never warned me that feeling everything would wreck everything—
that trauma would demand center stage

My mom never told me she loved me— not as a kid. Not as an elder

Fuck ’em

I’m my mom now
my shrink
I’m my own damn doctor

I’m your bitch
A loud, messy lesbian
almost fifty, crashing

queer spaces
run by post-teens
Where the older queers make quilted dreamcatchers
and shun my intensity

But move over bitches—Lucie’s in the house

I’m an 18-month-old baby
a 14-year-old teen
the young mother
of a six-year-old

I’m wandering through no woman’s land.

I’m learning
to walk
to speak, to seduce
and kick ass

Hurtin’ and shining
Shady, sassy
extra cunty

Now and forever
Fuck Age

(Sera publié dans Trans Survivor Zine #3: https://forge-forward.org/trans-survivors-zine/)