Hi babe !

Fucking shit godammit of myself ! You're a poison that I drink like water ! But I love the feeling of fire in my throat when it gets consume by tears and love. I meet another person that understands truly who I am ! In a minute, everything I knew slipped away. I am colorblind, lost and afraid but I least, I understand myself more !

 Even when I feel empty, even when the void in my chest threats me to burn me alive, I think at you and walk. I have to legs so I'm using it. I know we were meant to be. I still think of you when I'm under the moon because no one can give me what you have. My lover, I've tried everything under the sun, but it's not enough. Never enough. Like an hunger I can't satisfy. I feel like a zombie trying to survive another day in this world when I could be cuddling in your arms. Some says moving on will heal with time. But you're still on my mind. You found your way to my dreams everytime. Every road leads straight to you. You're the only one I adore, I wanna play with you, dressed in white, calling you hubby for the fun. I'll fight everyone and everything to take you home. Keep eating my soul, the only one I adore ! I live to satisfy my hunger of you. Just accept it because it's not gonna change. We're forever us. I'm ready to pain for you.

 I miss your pretty eyes, those of ice, that makes me yearn for more. I've contemplate my ceiling for so many insomnia. I imagine you crawling to me like an actor, all mine to hold. You're my angel, you fell into my life without any reason yet I can't let you go. You are part of my last reasons to stay here. It's like writing is music and your voice the lyrics of what I wanna say. I wish you were all mine forever. I need you here, locked up into my room, only us and love. Whatever you want to do, it'll be done. Ask and I'll die for you.

 Even if it was the end of the world, even if I had to go to another planet to survive, I'll rather stay with you here, because I don't care how long I live as long as I can die in your arms. We're just gonna make love into a bigger room, enjoying the feeling the fire on our skin while the rest explode. I want nothing more than us.

 I've wasted a bit of time looking around me instead of accepting that I'm all yours. It's hard to say but they were sacrifice to get space for you in my perfect love. So I lied, I pretend it was love, that they mean something more to me than just crushes on the road. They did their time, then I have to face the wall. All the lies spreading like broken promises into my veins and finally, I knew that I love you more than I though. I was trapped and scared but I didn't regret anything. I coudln't be satisfy with these pieces of heart but you make me whole.

 When I though I was useless, my phone off on the table, facing the dark of the night, you were the pills of happiness, the dose of hope. All I need to convince me that sleeping wasn't painful. The medicine to convince me that I am not insomniac by choice, which I am totally. 

 I could confess my fears to you. I fear highness, not because I could fall and crushing... No, it's because I remember how small I am compared to the world. I have this fear of someone seeing me crying. It's not pain. It's not shame. It's the fear of watching them seeing me weak and vulnerable. I fear sleep because I'm too lost into dreams to face the real world. Rare are those that understand me but you do. I fear to lose you, not because I would miss you. But because being alone is scary. Be against the world without knowing if I'm gonna love again is scary. So I don't let go.

 And when you're not here, when I'm too tired to fight, I put some music and dance alone with your ghost. I let the lyrics cuts me open and I imagine us dancing with nothing. Oh honey, we're pro dancers when I'm dancing with your ghost ! And I remember everything you could have told me and didn't. I put a simple song and I let my feet retracing what we could have. I still feel you here when I tango with your ghost. I'll jump if you caught me. I'm dancing with my feelings, hopping to catch a glimpse of your smile on my wall. And when the music stop, I fall again and your ghost leave me into the empty room, the warmth of what I though was us disappearing.

 I wish I was crimson, I'll hide into your veins. You'll think I'm just blood but I would see you from the inside. I'll make my way into your heart and make it beating. I wish we could be closer than close. Nothing is enough. I want to feel you. All of you. Outside and inside. I want to learn every inch of your skin, where it hurts, where it's good. I want to discover every scars and angles. I'll lost myself into your eyes. I'll steal a kiss when you sleep while laying on your chest, hearing the heart I make beat. Closer, always closer. I wanna melt into you, having the chance to love you from everywhere.

 I still remember the first time I saw your name. I don't know why, he caught me. I was young, naïve, thinking love was bullshit. And then, your face in my dream learns me that every possibility exist. I start writting so much about you. I've travel in so much universe but it wasn't as magic as the first time we meet. I talked to God and he couldn't get me higher than this day. I felt new, happy, hopeful. It was a normal night yet it changes everything. I was a flame that refuses to burn, scared to get wet. Now, I'm a fire that consume all it has to meet you. Because every spring's beauty couldn't compare with the first time we met !

 If I could meet everyone I've almost loved like you, well I could only tell they don't worth the heart beats I've spend on them instead of you... They give me hope, you gave me a reason to stay. They gave me crush, you gave me love. They give me a moment, you give me my whole life. If I cry one tears for evey night loving you, then I'll cry an ocean for you. It'll rain for days without stopping. They gave me light, you gave me the sun. You are my everything, they were a flying thing. They showed me clouds, you send me higher above the stars.

Wait for me,

I come for you, I love you, I kiss you,

Milia.